Still shocked by the unthinkable war between Russia and Ukraine, I wanted to write a personal account of how events of the last decade preceding the war appeared on the inside. I'm a Russian immigrant. I left the country in 2020 for the reasons that appear economic. But I had little choice as the alternatives meant to lose a living or to forfeit my career, and work for the state supporting the regime. ⚹ ⚹ ⚹ Estimates of state-controlled share of the Russian economy of 60-70% are well known. Less is known about life outside the state bubble. Even Russians who work for the state are oblivious to the life of ones employed in the private sector and entrepreneurs. Since 2014, there was a consistent pressure on everyone who's livelihood doesn't depend on the state. It accelerated in 2016, once the Russian government realised that the new US administration is even less friendly to them than the previous one. I've been self-employed and an entrepreneur in Russia between 2016 a